Wednesday, June 19, 2013

One point of life.

Assalamualaikum.


Hi, long time no see. Saya dah habis final exam! Tamat tahun satu Program Bacelor Sains Bioperubatan. Baru tahun satu. 3 years more to go. 3 tahun tu tak lama weh. Macam sekarang, pejam celik, next sem guwa second year. Pehhh jadi senior. 

Dan sebab 3 years tak lama jugak lah aku hadapi krisis dengan diri sendiri sekarang ni.
Hm.

Aiman Azlan pernah kata dia tak faham bila mana seseorang tu terpaksa kahwin. Dalam erti kata lain kahwin sebab nak elak perbuatan maksiat daripada berlaku. Sedangkan yang namanya kahwin tu is something you should be ready for bukan sebab terpaksa hanya untuk elak maksiat semata. Which this also means, kalau kita tak junamkan diri sendiri dalam hal seperti itu, mana nak datang 'terpaksa kahwin elak maksiat' tu kan? You got what i mean or not? Hm.

Krisis aku sekarang bukan sebab aku terpaksa kahwin sebab nak elak maksiat. NOPE.

It is about a way to avoid myself from walking to it. It is about running away. Run from being attached to someone. Someone that captured my heart. Huwaaaaaaaaaa. Why so easy for you. Why so easy for you to just let anyone capture your heart. Why??

"When you allow yourself to be too attached to someone, you become weak, overly sensitive, and bruise much too easily. Its not worth it." - somewhere

And i fall deep. Maybe. Between stay in friendship or letting go. I choose the second one. And i leave everything to Him. He knows best. Struggling against what in yourself is never be easy. 

Leaving is not easy. Deep cut. Covered by plaster.

Guwa gelak-gelak. Guwa cari source buat guwa happy. Tapi bila guwa sorang-sorang. Guwa hanyut dengan feeling. Betul lah kata orang. Perempuan memang overthinking. Aku mintak Dia pinjamkan otak lelaki untuk aku handle hal-hal macam ni. Biar tak nampak lemah sangat. kehkeh


Alhamdulillah. Allah bagi :')


Tidak cuma itu. Dia bagi aku mereka juga. Terima kasih. Banyak perncerahan yang aku dapat. In fact, aku dapat semula strength aku. Mereka ini yang patut aku bahagiakan. Mereka. Bukan dia.


"Apabila seseorang jadi 1/3 daripada kehidupan awak sebelum waktunya, 

lepaskan dia" - somewhere

Bantu aku bahagiakan mereka. Sebab mereka dah bagi 1001 bahagia untuk aku :')


P/s : Sampai end of this post, aku tak tahu apa hubung kait krisis diri sendiri dengan 3 tahun nak habis degree. Serius aku tak tahu. Hahahahahaha. peace yo.

THE END

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