Thursday, July 6, 2017

Living heart


The act of kindness, what melts me to the ground
The act of responsibility, touch my heart even deeper
The act of love, amaze me so much

I have learnt a lot through these days. Through other people's loss, i learnt a lot. I have seen a lot. Never not i regret for each thing i see and do with them. Through the tough moments, i have seen how Allah heal the broken pieces of her heart. I have seen how important is Allah to the human heart.

Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear (2:286)
He is so true with His words. I couldn't imagine if i am at her place. I don't know.
For the love they had that i heard, for the memories she told, everything was so true as i can see through her eyes, her childrens' eyes. Allahu.

I don't know how to arrange these feelings into words.

But, i am feeling so weird. I rarely put other people be so close to my mind and heart as soon as this. It might took years for other people. But, they touch my heart in all directions.
I feel so close. I feel the pain too.

They actually bring me to Arwah Papa's memories back. The love that i felt. Not that i don't feel any love now, but i realized the emptiness i had since Papa's gone. I still remember the broken feelings i had the moment Papa passed away. It was so hurt. Though Papa was not with me all the time ever since, it hurts knowing he's gone. Knowing there will be no phone calls, no kisses, no parcel, no dua from him, no more his laughter. It hurts like hell. I can't put these in words.

To them, who loss their dad, the one who was there all the time. Taught them every single thing in the world. Hug them almost to every second.

The pain, my pain, was like 100x more than what i felt to them.

How did they cope with that?
And they just did cope with that. It is all Allah's work.
Because their dad teach them to have Allah in their heart.


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