Thursday, July 20, 2017

The 24th year of my life


16th July 2017. I was officially 24 years old. I don't want to ask myself what i achieved, but the contented feeling i felt i treasure the most. I won't trade it with any other things. Not even a good blouse and make up can make it to that feeling.

This year round, i made time to be at home on my birthday. As previously, i celebrated the date of my birthday while having raya trip with coursemates, and i was in college for the year before it. But this 2017, i was home.

We celebrated it while having some close families together for raya makan-makan.
Mama plan the day.
She had my cousins to work out the birthday surprise.

Birthday songs.
Shining eyes.

To this 24 years of living, i realized i want nothing except to be with these people again in Syurga. So that each of them have their dreams come true effortlessly. And they will be happy, i will be happy too. By people, i mean everyone including those who were not there too. Those whom i love.

For having myself breathing for 24 years, i would like to confess that i love my Mama so much. That, i don't know how anymore to prioritize any other things or person apart from her. That, i want to stay here watching her smile all my life. That i can forever love her.

Sometimes, i come to the thoughts that what if one day i married somebody and then i have to change my priority. What if, he is not that kind yang prioritize mother over anything else. And even worse, he prioritize his mom over me (that's okay) while expecting me prioritize him over my mom with no negotiation.

One of the reason i rejected to work at this age but to further study is that i want to be able to pay for her when she's incapable of working and pay. I want to feed her with all things she couldn't have before for the sake of growing us up to this point. I want to give her all happiness i can give. And if i can't make it here, i'll ask Allah to always let me give her in the hereafter (sounds poyo but, it is okay to dream high kan)

I've been thinking too far, am i? Hahaha

Oh Nad, please.


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